Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Whoops! Accidentally rolling into singledom like… 🤷‍♂️💔 Gravity may bring you down, but at least it gives you a good excuse for falling out of love with your bedmate! 😂 #SingleLifeStruggles"

bed, cuddle, fall, forgot, funny situation, humor, just, over, relatable, single, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

0

6 days ago

child, childhood, drug, drugs, expectation, free, free drug, humor, i, impression, much, reality, stranger, strangers, times
“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

0

2 months ago

actually, am, chilling, humor, i, losing, losing mind, mind, multitask, relaxation, same, sarcasm, stress, time, yes
Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

0

2 months ago

book, broke, budget, clean, cleaning, everyone, financial, humor, money, pile, purse, receipt, spending, tiny, together, why
150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

0

2 months ago

19th, 19th century, ago, cards, century, change, death, different, escape, fake, fake death, history, humor, identity, identity change, just, life, live, new, new life, reinvention
I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

0

2 months ago

humor, meltdown, motherhood, parenting, survival, teenage, teenager, time
Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

0

6 months ago

ancestor, ancestors, before, breathe, breathing, date, discovery, history, humor, oxygen, question, science

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a day off from myself.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Trending via TikTok:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Making waves on Twitch:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Live now on Slack:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Trending via WeChat:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨