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"Whoops! Accidentally rolling into singledom like… 🤷‍♂️💔 Gravity may bring you down, but at least it gives you a good excuse for falling out of love with your bedmate! 😂 #SingleLifeStruggles"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

2 months ago
caffeine, coffee, day, days, fatigue, humor, morning, needs, tired, today
Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

2 weeks ago
comfort, comfort food, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, little, pillow, pillows, pizza, pizza roll, roll, rolls, snack
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

1 month ago
comedy, confuse, confusion, doctor, funny situation, glove, humor, medical, prank, rubber, rubber glove, situation, unexpected
If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

1 month ago
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Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

1 month ago
humor, lightheartedness, marshmallow, roasting, self-deprecation, self-esteem, stop, yourself
Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

2 months ago
alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Just shared via X:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Going viral on Twitch:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Seen just now on Threads:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Making waves on X:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Seen just now on X:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

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Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

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Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

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