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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Making waves on Reddit:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Just landed via Instagram:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Making waves on Messenger:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Trending via Messenger:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Going viral on TikTok:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the struggles of the past! 😂 Back in the day, yo-yos were serious business, not just a nostalgic toy for #ThrowbackThursday. Imagine the horror of trying to explain your bruised face to your teacher after a yo-yo mishap! 💁‍♂️🪀 #YoYoStruggles #GoodOldDays

activity, childhood, days, explain, fun, fun activity, having, injury, kids, know, nostalgia, shame, yo-yo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Facebook this month:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

12 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Live now on Pinterest:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Just shared via Threads:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Going viral on Facebook:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Making waves on WeChat:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

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