Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,866

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Just landed via Discord:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Just landed via Reddit:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Making waves on Snapchat:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Breaking via Messenger:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Broadcasted on X:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Making waves on YouTube:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning into a serial complimenter, one kind word at a time! 😄💬💀

compliment, compliments, humor, irony, killing, kindness, murder, pun, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop
I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

0

2 months ago

birthday, bit, body, embryonic, embryonic fluid, fluid, humor, humorous, i, joke, quirky, satire, traditionalist, unconventional
Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, clothes, comeback, fashion, humor, sorry, style, trend, waiting
An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

0

2 months ago

bad, doing, evil, evil genius, evil idiot, genius, idiot, idiots, insulting, least, position, power, rising, seeing, sense
Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

0

2 months ago

expectations, humor, i, instruction, non-parent, obedience, obey, parenting, something, toddler, want
Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, friends, gatherings, high, high school, media, neverending, nostalgia, relationships, reunion, school, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Live now on Slack:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Live now on Threads:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Going bananas on Twitch:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨