Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.