Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Shared recently on Threads:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Trending via Discord:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Robots taking over my talent for confidently shouting nonsense? I compute that as progress 😂🤖🙈

AI, automation, confidence, humor, incorrect, irony, job, lost, technology, unemployment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

0

2 months ago

coming, conclusion, conclusions, fetish, humor, i, just, logic, pun, stop, wordplay
I’m tired of things costing money.

0

2 months ago

cost, expense, financial, humor, money, sarcasm, things, tired
You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

0

2 months ago

boys, ceiling, chaos, family, family life, father, humor, know, life, parenting, print, shoe, shoe print, teen
I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, bedtime, discomfort, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, i, insomnia, relatable, sleep, sore, sore back, terrible, tiredness, wait, wake
Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

0

2 months ago

avoiding, exercise, humor, i, interaction, just, know, social, someone, steps
Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

0

2 months ago

actually, communication, enough, honesty, humor, i, know, knowledge, opinion, say

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

69 shares on Discord this month:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

98 shares on Discord this month:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Live now on Pinterest:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Just shared via Threads:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Just shared via WeChat:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Making waves on X:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Going viral on Slack:

This whole week could have been an email.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

I’m tired of things costing money.

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨