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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Spotted on Messenger:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Making waves on Discord:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Going viral on Messenger:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Just landed via Discord:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Just landed via Slack:

I am single, please disturb me!

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Counting stars definitely beats counting sheep! 🌟😴✨

activity, care, lounging, outdoor, outdoor activity, relaxation, self, self-care, star, stars, therapy, under

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

0

3 weeks ago

anxiety, being, delay, even, humor, means, perfectionist, procrastinator, productivity, started, stress, work
Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

0

2 months ago

dad, energy, environmentalist, humor, i, lights, me, parenting, people, responsibility, turn, waste, yell
It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

0

2 months ago

anything, better, everything, humor, irony, know, know-it-all, shame
I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

0

2 months ago

comedy, hard, humor, innuendo, joke, making, quit, sexual, sexuality, struggle, trying
I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

0

2 months ago

abyss, busy, busy signal, communication, existential, frustration, humor, i, irony, scream, signal, today
Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

0

1 month ago

being, broke, hatred, humor, i, just, money, motivation, nothing, passion, pure, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on X this month:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

28 shares on X this month:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Spotted on Slack:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Making waves on TikTok:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Trending via Discord:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Spotted on Threads:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Just landed via YouTube:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Going viral on YouTube:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨