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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Jan 6, 2026

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Just landed via Instagram:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Just shared via Discord:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Going viral on Threads:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Trending via LinkedIn:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m sick of living through history!

Just shared via Reddit:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

2 months ago

0

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Love is indeed a free-spirited bird 🦅, fluttering into our lives with a flapping of wings and a chirp of joy. But just as we start to build a cozy nest, it spreads its wings and says, 'Caw ya later!' 🕊️💔 Fly on, love bird, fly on… Who needs a nest anyway when you can soar through the skies of singledom! 🌦️✨"

around, bird, flying, humor, love, me, metaphor, moving, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

0

5 months ago

buy, coming, humor, hyperfixation, impulse, impulse buy, looking, merch, need, regret, shopping, sobering, sobering up, worst
I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

0

2 months ago

catch, cheaper, cost-saving, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, joke, me, membership, money, running, wants
Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

0

3 months ago

95, anyone, cd, cleaned, cleaning, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, just, needs, nostalgia, technology, Windows, Windows 95
My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

0

5 months ago

carry, case, childhood, daughter, having, humor, just, making, memory, nostalgia, parent, payphone, quarter, remember
I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, dog, dogs, dropped, dropped food, food, humor, i, joke, people, pet, pick, responsibility
I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

0

2 months ago

academy, blame, comedy, culture, doing, entertainment, film, generation, good, humor, humor quote, i, idea, movy, much, nostalgia, police, police academy, pop, pop culture, stuff, stupid, thought, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Threads this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

47 shares on Threads this month:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

35 shares on X this month:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

22 shares on Discord this month:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Going viral on X:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Going viral on Reddit:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Seen just now on Slack:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Trending via Threads:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

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