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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Just landed via Messenger:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Just landed via Twitch:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Broadcasted on Threads:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Live now on Instagram:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

2 months ago

0

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Love is indeed a free-spirited bird 🦅, fluttering into our lives with a flapping of wings and a chirp of joy. But just as we start to build a cozy nest, it spreads its wings and says, 'Caw ya later!' 🕊️💔 Fly on, love bird, fly on… Who needs a nest anyway when you can soar through the skies of singledom! 🌦️✨"

around, bird, flying, humor, love, me, metaphor, moving, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

0

2 months ago

encounter, everyone, hair, house, humor, i, know, left, makeup, relatable, run, sure, wet
My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, chaos, follow, kids, leave, me, parenting, scared, trouble
Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

0

2 months ago

dude, later, others, pull, treat, treated, want
When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

0

3 hours ago

humor, i, motivation, stoppable, temperature, too, unstoppable, warm, warmer, warmth, weather
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

after, aspiration, day, fame, health, hospital, humor, irony, maybe, me, mental, mental health, recognition, school, self-deprecation, street
Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

0

3 weeks ago

brag, child, children, communication, everything, humor, i, irony, knowledge, parenting, today, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

75 shares on Discord this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

18 shares on Threads this month:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

52 shares on Slack this month:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Is this art or trash?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Going bananas on Threads:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I disagree with my politics.

Shared recently on Reddit:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Spotted on WeChat:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Just landed via WeChat:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

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