Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Commentary:
🧅💧🔪 “In a parallel universe, onions shed tears as they slice through humans… Now that’s a tear-jerking twist! Who knew veggies could have such strong feelings? 🤯😂”

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    Commentary:
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    Commentary:
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