Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

78 shares on Discord this month:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

39 shares on Threads this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

73 shares on Threads this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

75 shares on Threads this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.