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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Freshly posted on X:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Trending via Reddit:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Making waves on Messenger:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Just shared via Discord:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

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Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous 'I know a place' line – the ultimate test of your trust in a friend's sense of direction! 🗺️😂 Just hang on tight and hope for the best as they lead you to the brink of madness… or maybe just to the nearest coffee shop. ☕️😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Cool times create cool guys.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Live now on YouTube:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Spotted on X:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Making waves on Instagram:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Going viral on TikTok:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

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