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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Just landed via TikTok:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Shared recently on X:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Breaking via Slack:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Just landed via YouTube:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Spotted on TikTok:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

1 month ago

Witty text highlighting men's mysterious "I know a place" promise leading to chaos.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous 'I know a place' line – the ultimate test of your trust in a friend's sense of direction! 🗺️😂 Just hang on tight and hope for the best as they lead you to the brink of madness… or maybe just to the nearest coffee shop. ☕️😅"

adventure, bring, expectations, humor, i, know, madness, men, place, relationship, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

35 shares on Discord this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

88 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Just landed via YouTube:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Just landed via Facebook:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

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