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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Shared recently on Messenger:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Going viral on Twitch:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Making waves on Slack:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When the stars are like, "It's not procrastination, it's cosmic alignment!" ✨🔮🙃

adulting, celestial, excuse, hard, humor, just, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, need, retrograde, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

0

2 months ago

ambition, Dior, fashion, hard, hard work, humor, Shein, study, success, work
Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

0

2 months ago

humor, i, need, Olympics, order, Paris, question, seen, sports, Tokyo, understand
Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

0

2 months ago

bag, Cheeto, cheetos, crun, exercise, fitness, humor, irony, self-deprecation, snack, still, today
Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

0

2 months ago

awareness, brain, brain damage, damage, excessive, humor, irony, know, me, sarcasm, screen, screen time, shows, study, technology, time, whenever
If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, failure, humor, risk, skydiving, success
If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

0

2 months ago

accusation, alibi, anxiety, crime, going, humor, introvert, prison, social, social anxiety, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Making waves on Twitch:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Just landed via Instagram:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨