Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes… Commentary:When the stars are like, "It's not procrastination, it's cosmic alignment!" ✨🔮🙃 Related Funny Posts 🤝 I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again. Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight. Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim. Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself. My bank account is also in retrograde.