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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Just shared via YouTube:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Breaking via Instagram:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Just landed via Messenger:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Spotted on Messenger:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Trending via Telegram:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Trending via Twitch:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about humor enhancing messages based on personal speech style.

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Commentary:
When you read a text in their voice and suddenly it's comedy gold 😂🎤

communication, context, conversation, funnier, humor, know, message, messages, person, personality

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36 shares on Threads this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

100 shares on X this month:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

72 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

32 shares on X this month:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Just landed via Threads:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Trending via YouTube:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Trending via Discord:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Spotted on WeChat:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Trending via Twitch:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Spotted on Facebook:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨