Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Live now on Reddit:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Spotted on Telegram:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Trending via Slack:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Making waves on Twitch:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to decide between a nap and coffee… daily dilemma 😂☕😴

challenge, crisis, daily, daily life, daily struggle, day, every, humor, life, life challenge, mid-day, mid-day crisis, mid-life, mid-life crisis, midday, midlife, something, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

0

3 days ago

called, camera, cameron, humor, james, James Cameron, joke, pun, wordplay
Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

0

2 months ago

addiction, choices, having, health, hierarchy, humor, irony, just, life, life choices, Maslow, new, nicotine, psychology, reason
My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

0

2 months ago

6, avoidance, home, humor, i, life, people, queue, simple, simplicity
Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

0

2 months ago

after, day, enough, exhaustion, me, me time, neurodivergent, refuse, sleep, survival, time, tired
Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

0

2 months ago

ChatGPT, fact, family, father-in-law, humor, jokes, keeps, making, making stuff up, passing, stuff, technology
I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

0

5 months ago

always, dating, gender, human, humans, humor, interaction, little, man, mean, men, relationship, sleep, think, treat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

96 shares on X this month:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Trending via Telegram:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Spotted on Twitch:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨