Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.