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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

20 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Freshly posted on X:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Just shared via Discord:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Live now on Pinterest:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Going viral on X:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Breaking via Facebook:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Trending via Discord:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Making waves on WeChat:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

6 months ago

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣🎥 "In the latest episode of 'Will It Hurt If I Drop It On My Foot?' – featuring all your favorite everyday objects – stay tuned to witness the thrilling moments of gravity vs. toes! Just remember to subscribe, like, and please don't try this at home… unless you've got really sturdy shoes! 😂🦶 #YouTubeShenanigans"

channel, drop, experiment, foot, humor, hurt, i, ideas, pain, start, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

20 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Just shared via X:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Just landed via TikTok:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Reported on Instagram:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Just landed via Facebook:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Making waves on Discord:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Broadcasted on Discord:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Just shared via YouTube:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

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