Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Trending via Telegram:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Making waves on X:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Going viral on Reddit:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Spotted on Threads:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Trending via Twitch:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Classic trickle-up economics in action! 💸🤔 The new philanthropic model: Robin Hood without the hood! 🎩💰

asking, charity, company, doing, dollar, donate, donation, humor, inequality, millionaire, millionaires, poor, satire, wealth, wealth inequality

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

0

2 months ago

12, age, dieting, faster, hours, humor, over, perspective, proof, runs, sweets, temptation, time, weeks
My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

0

2 months ago

family, fool, humor, mom, never, personality, psycho, raise
My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

0

2 months ago

boredom, boring, humor, quit, self-deprecation, shadow, too
I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bed, home, humor, i, tiredness, tomorrow, wait, work, workplace
Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

0

2 months ago

actually, communication, enough, honesty, humor, i, know, knowledge, opinion, say
We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

0

2 months ago

ads, commercials, entertainment, fee, humor, just, month, monthly, monthly fee, need, pay, service, shows, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

47 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Going viral on Twitch:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Going viral on Facebook:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Just landed via TikTok:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Live now on TikTok:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Going viral on YouTube:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨