Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Spotted on Twitch:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Making waves on YouTube:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Going viral on Threads:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Live now on Snapchat:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Going viral on Slack:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Spotted on Instagram:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did Monday become the dress rehearsal for the work week? 🤔🎭 #MondayMadness

humor, Monday, motivation, office, pretending, procrastination, real, Tuesday, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

0

3 months ago

brain, brain damage, damage, humor, i, Instagram, Instagram Reel, media, original, original source, reel, social, social media, source, TikTok, watch
I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, constant, conversation, fear, humor, i, just, listening, live, repeat, say
My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

0

2 months ago

body, fitness, humor, land, self-deprecation, transformation, wonder
Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

0

2 months ago

bed, daily, daily struggle, day, dealing, getting, humor, interaction, introvert, morning, nothing, people, social, social interaction, struggle
“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

0

2 months ago

advocate, context, debate, devil, help, humor, irony, just, ok, play, sarcasm
Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

0

5 months ago

confidence, fact, genius, humor, let, presence, sarcasm, seriousness, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

No amount of daylight can save us.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

78 shares on Discord this month:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

66 shares on X this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Just landed via Discord:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Going viral on Reddit:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Spotted on WeChat:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Live now on Facebook:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨