Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Spotted on TikTok:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When moms go into housework superhero mode and then realize they need a nap. 🦸‍♀️🧹😴 #MomLife

chores, doing, family, frustration, housework, humor, mad, mother, parenting, tired, unnecessary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

0

2 months ago

bees, comedy, fear, girl, humor, i, irrational, movy, My Girl, rational, saw
Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, cause, everyone, except, good, humor, i, morning, myself, relatable, sarcasm, sleep, still, tired, wish
The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, before, bench, bench press, exercise, fitness, good, gym, humor, laying, lifting, press, relaxation, right, workout
Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

0

2 months ago

beauty, haircut, healthcare, humor, medical, satire, self-care, should, wellness
Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

0

4 months ago

communication, even, harder, humor, know, lie, men, ok, relationship, truth
My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

0

2 months ago

big, big house, chance, country, dog, house, humor, i, only, rescue

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

81 shares on Threads this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

69 shares on YouTube this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Making waves on Telegram:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Live now on Discord:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Trending via Twitch:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Trending via TikTok:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Making waves on Facebook:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Live now on Facebook:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨