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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,933

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Spotted on Telegram:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Making waves on TikTok:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Shared recently on TikTok:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

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My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.
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Commentary:
"Relatable! My brain is running a 24/7 drama series with unlimited episodes! 🎭😅 #OverthinkerPro"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

54 shares on YouTube this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,009

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Just landed via Slack:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Live now on Telegram:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Live now on Instagram:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Spotted on Threads:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Making waves on WeChat:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

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