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Commentary:
"Looks like someone needs to have a 'purrsonal' conversation with their chain-smoking feline 🚬🐱 Maybe it's time for some 'paw-sitive' changes in that kitty's lifestyle! 😹 #CigaretteCatProblems"

again, cat, cigarettes, excuses, frustration, humor, pet, sick, smell, smells

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

0

2 months ago

die, filming, getting, humor, idiot, irony, knowing, regret, right, tornado, wife, worst, worst part
Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

0

2 months ago

crowd, died, forgetting, God, God save the Queen, hear, humor, irony, love, memory, queen, save, singing
When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

0

4 weeks ago

16, again, button, buttons, emotional, emotional trigger, family, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, just, lose, nostalgia, old, parent, parents, push, shit, teenager, trigger, visit
After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

0

2 months ago

frustration, hour, humor, meeting, motivation, player, sarcasm, team, team meeting, team player, workplace
I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

0

2 weeks ago

cleverness, comeback, humor, insult, insults, intelligence, intelligent, later, looking, realize, roast, sarcasm, thoughts, three, wit
You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

0

6 months ago

anything, early, humor, leadership, management, meeting, meetings, motivation, person, productivity, time, time management, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just shared via Messenger:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Making waves on Slack:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Seen just now on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Just shared via YouTube:

Oh good. Another day.

Just landed via Telegram:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨