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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Trending via Slack:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Making waves on X:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Going bananas on YouTube:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Trending via Discord:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Spreading quickly via X:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Making waves on Telegram:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

2 months ago

0

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the wonderful season of Spring, where the delicious aroma of cinnamon rolls fills the air! 🌷🌀 Who needs flower blossoms when you have warm, gooey rolls to brighten up your day? Embrace the true essence of Spring with a delightful swirl of sweetness! 🌺🥖 #SpringRollsForTheWin

favorite, favorite part, food, humor, joke, rolls, season, spring

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

0

2 months ago

challenge, compatibility, dating, event, family, family event, humor, marriage, marry, me, partner, person, relationship, social, social challenge, still
I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

0

2 months ago

connection, deep, humor, librarian, love, people, reading, shut, shut up, silence
People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

0

2 months ago

activity, ad, awkwardness, birthday, celebration, feels, fun, fun activity, happy, humor, people, singing, unskippable
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

0

2 months ago

borrowing, decision, friend, humor, money, need, priorities
I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

0

6 months ago

being, drunk, humor, loneliness, much, night, okay, relationship, single, too, while
My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

0

1 week ago

16, Christmas, guess, here, humor, i, joke, jokes, mall, me, parent, parents, real, right, Santa, teenager, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Seen just now on Discord:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Trending via Facebook:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Trending via Snapchat:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Live now on Pinterest:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Going viral on X:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

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