My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.