Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.
  • Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.
  • Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.
  • The only men you can trust is ramen.
  • Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.
  • I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.