Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate dream vacation! 🌴✈️ Who needs sandy beaches when you can have peace and quiet all to yourself? Just don't forget to pick the family back up on your way home! 😜👋 #QuietTimeIsGolden"

airport, drop, family, getaway, humor, ideal, peace, quiet, relaxation, travel, vacation, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

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2 months ago

anyone, humor, Monday, outside, procrastination, reminder, upset, waiting, weekend, workweek
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

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2 months ago

chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where
Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

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2 months ago

call, dance, humor, Macarena, morning, music
I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

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5 months ago

calorie, fitness, frustration, humor, i, loss, rage, skinny, weight, weight loss, wish
Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

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2 months ago

algorithm, confusion, engagement, i, impress, just, liking, media, post, social, social media, understand
I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

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2 months ago

honesty, humor, i, irony, lie, love, lying, saying, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

24 shares on X this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Breaking via Instagram:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Breaking via Twitch:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Making waves on WeChat:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨