Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate dream vacation! 🌴✈️ Who needs sandy beaches when you can have peace and quiet all to yourself? Just don't forget to pick the family back up on your way home! 😜👋 #QuietTimeIsGolden"

airport, drop, family, getaway, humor, ideal, peace, quiet, relaxation, travel, vacation, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

0

4 months ago

bad, bad day, cheeseburger, day, even, food, frustration, help, humor, know
Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

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2 months ago

appreciation, big, big fan, bite, chew, eating, excellent, fan, food, huge, humor, i, nodding, point
I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

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2 months ago

friends, humor, i, know, much, need, new, old, relationships, social, too, too much, trust
My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

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2 months ago

boom, dating, disappointment, feels, full, humor, humor humor, humor quote, life, lot, love, love life, motorcycle, open, open space, parking, parking lot, relatable, space, spot
That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

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2 months ago

animal, attention, begging, cat, corner, humor, pet, relatable, spotlight
Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

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4 months ago

discover, discovery, entertainment, even, humor, imagine, movie, Netflix, parent, parents, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Breaking via TikTok:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Just landed via Slack:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Live now on Threads:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨