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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Making waves on X:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Just landed via Telegram:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Making waves on Telegram:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Seen just now on YouTube:

This Monday could have been an email.

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, they're truly thriving in their natural habitat at the garden center, soaking up all the attention and plant care they deserve 🌺🌿 Who knew the secret to perfect flowers was leaving them where they truly belong?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Just shared via WeChat:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Making waves on Twitch:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Just shared via YouTube:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Spotted on Instagram:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Broadcasted on X:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

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