Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Going bananas on Threads:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Just shared via Telegram:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Going viral on Facebook:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Just landed via Instagram:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Just shared via Telegram:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Just landed via Twitch:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Just landed via TikTok:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
RIP to a love life so non-existent, even Casper the ghost would be like, "You need to get out more!" 🪦👻💔

dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, always, coming, extended, humor, humor about aging, know, life, life perspective, Monday, old, old age, perspective, retirement, weekend
Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

2 months ago

comedy, dad, dad joke, ever, followers, growth, humor, i, joke, jokes, media, sharing, size, social, social media
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

2 months ago

close, closer, connectivity, digital, friends, friendship, humor, keep, life, media, modern, modern life, smartphone, social, social media, technology
Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

2 months ago

dress, eating, effort, enough, fit, fitness, food, humor, later, lifestyle, making, marriage, still, wedding, wedding dress
Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

2 months ago

adulting, asleep, baby, bottle, concerning, cute, humor, i, irony, sleep
The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

2 months ago

bedtime, humor, morning, morning routine, perfect, perfect routine, routine, successful, sun

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

43 shares on Threads this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Spotted on Discord:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Shared recently on Discord:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Going viral on Reddit:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Making waves on Telegram:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Making waves on Threads:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Spotted on Slack:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨