My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.