Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Trending via Pinterest:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Making waves on WeChat:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Therapy and a mani-pedi? That’s what I call mental *and* nail polish! 💅🧠

care, humor, multitasking, nail, nail care, nails, self-care, session, should, talking, therapist, therapy, therapy session, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

0

2 months ago

ability, aging, back, difficulty, drop, drop it, harder, hot, humor, i, just, lot, physical, physical ability, pick, still
Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, cost, financial, humor, i, joke, pay, poor, self-deprecation, sorry, witty
People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

0

2 months ago

double, double life, even, here, holding, humor, life, life management, living, management, people, relatability, single, single life, struggle, together
The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

0

2 months ago

act, act clueless, clueless, everything, feminine, feminine urge, gender, gender roles, humor, irony, knowing, knowing everything, roles, self-awareness, urge, wit
Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

0

2 months ago

1, 2, being, contradiction, fear, fears, humor, infertility, pregnancy, pregnant, worst, worst fear
It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

0

2 months ago

back, expectation, humor, irony, job, just, love, relationship, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

45 shares on Threads this month:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Going viral on X:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Spotted on Slack:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Just shared via Reddit:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Spotted on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Going viral on Telegram:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨