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Commentary:
Looks like the mess is on a strict need-to-know basis only! 🤫🚫 Who knew secrecy was a crucial element in housekeeping? 😂🧹 #TopSecretMess

cleaning, domestic, domestic life, hire, housekeeper, humor, life, mess, refuse, refuses, relationship, want, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

0

2 weeks ago

child, childhood, drug, drugs, expectation, free, free drug, humor, i, impression, much, reality, stranger, strangers, times
We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

0

2 months ago

comma, education, humor, irony, Oxford, sarcasm, wit
The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

0

2 months ago

5, break, career, career break, enlightenment, gap, humor, i, job, job gap, meditation, reach, resume, resume gap, self-improvement, trying
Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

0

2 months ago

accident, car, cars, horn, Lil, should, silly, smaller, something, sorry
Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

0

6 months ago

Asian, Asian parent, cultural, cultural stereotype, focus, give, humor, name, names, parent, parents, stereotype, study
Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

0

2 months ago

academic, article, claims, cool, ever, found, humor, irony, joke, perfectly, research, scholarly, sex, topic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Breaking via Instagram:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Trending via Snapchat:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Live now on Reddit:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Freshly posted on X:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨