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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Breaking via Twitch:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Spotted on TikTok:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Going viral on X:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

0
Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.
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Commentary:
Well, talk about lighting up the night—literally! 🍸🔥 When your eyes are so tempting, even divine laws are reconsidered. Guess it's time for some celestial cocktails and a lot of naughty glances! 😈😉 Cheers to sins worth savoring! 🍹😇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

67 shares on X this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

50 shares on Threads this month:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a yearning disability.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Spotted on Telegram:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Trending via Reddit:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Making waves on Threads:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Just shared via Threads:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Going viral on YouTube:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

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