Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Trending via TikTok:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Going viral on Reddit:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Live now on Pinterest:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Making waves on X:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just landed via Twitch:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Just landed via Threads:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Seen just now on X:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you finally meet someone who's your exact type, and the universe hits you with the Wi-Fi connection lost moment 😂📡🔍🌐

awkwardness, dating, event, exactly, horrific, horror, meeting, personality, similarity, someone, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

0

2 months ago

athlete, attempt, begin, comedy, couch, fitness, humor, i, laziness, motivation, myself, procrastination, self-motivation, third, whisper
My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

0

2 months ago

everyone, everything, expectations, favorite, heart, humor, intentions, kindness, media, nice, purity, read, sarcasm, social, social media, things, true, truth, Twitter
I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

0

2 months ago

arguing, conflict, dead, dead relative, family, fun, humor, i, keep, psychic, relationship, relative
I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

0

2 months ago

always, bandana, canine, dog, gang, gone, groomer, home, hours, humor, i, love, loyalty, only, pet, three, time, transformation
Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

0

4 months ago

affection, back, emotional, emotional well-being, good, health, likes, liking, mental, mental health, mutual, mutual affection, relationship, someone, well-being
I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

0

2 months ago

back, busy, clips, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, mini, mini clips, procrastination, rings, social media, text, TikTok, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Just shared via Facebook:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Just landed via Threads:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Making waves on Discord:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Making waves on WeChat:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨