Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Shared recently on Telegram:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Spotted on Discord:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Just shared via WeChat:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Spotted on X:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you finally meet someone who's your exact type, and the universe hits you with the Wi-Fi connection lost moment 😂📡🔍🌐

awkwardness, dating, event, exactly, horrific, horror, meeting, personality, similarity, someone, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

0

5 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying
When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, critic, de, food, humor, i, nom, nom de plume, plume, pun, restaurant, under, writing
I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

0

2 months ago

comparison, convince, criticism, example, family-run, humor, i, irony, korea, me, north, North Korea, politics, quality, should, sign, understand
My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal antics, antics, bill, dog, financial, financial woes, humor, pet, pet humor, responsibility, sigh, woes
This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

0

2 months ago

coming, convinced, cravings, digestion, food, gum, humor, humorously, humorously relatable, joke, relatable, stomach, stomachache
In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

0

2 months ago

bake, cooking, expectations, future, generations, grandma, humor, stereotypes, tattoo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

94 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

61 shares on X this month:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

86 shares on X this month:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

89 shares on X this month:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Going viral on Instagram:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Shared recently on Threads:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨