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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Just shared via Messenger:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Going viral on TikTok:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That soccer bag smell could clear a stadium faster than a goal! 🥅👃💨

bag, book, humor, kid, kids, parenting, parenting struggle, smell, soccer, soccer bag, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A selfie only a mother could like.

0

2 months ago

camera, family, humor, joke, mother, only, parenting, photo, selfie
All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

0

2 months ago

annoy, forever, handsome, humor, man, relationship, want, woman, women
My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

0

5 months ago

dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone
If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoyed, being, frustration, good, humor, sarcasm, self-awareness, stupidity, thing, wit
Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

0

2 months ago

close, dynamics, friend, friendship, group, humor, humor quote, i, inclusion, join, joke, social, social dynamics, teasing
Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

0

2 months ago

abandoned, dying, filled, flower, flowers, garden, ghost, ghosts, heart, humor, melancholy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At least life has music.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Seen just now on Messenger:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Going viral on Threads:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Making waves on Discord:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Spotted on X:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Just shared via TikTok:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A selfie only a mother could like.

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨