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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Trending via Threads:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Just shared via Reddit:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Seen just now on Threads:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you realize my absence is the ultimate plot twist! 🤣🚪💨 #MissingMeMadness"

arrogance, confidence, enough, humor, losing, me, revenge, self-esteem, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

2 months ago

around, busy, distraction, doing, eating, hard, humor, looking, management, procrastination, room, set, snack, tax, things, time, time management
Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

3 months ago

acceptance, dark, dark humor, humor, identity, individuality, irony, killer, self-acceptance, serial, serial killer
I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

2 months ago

distraction, hear, humor, i, music, relationship, volume, where
My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

3 months ago

90, 90 years, advice, age, biscuit, grandmother, humor, life, life advice, live, longevity, nothing, shining, spite, year’s
Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

1 month ago

advice, authenticity, even, humor, liked, liking, people, pressure, self-acceptance, social, social pressure, stop, trying
There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, humor, people, politics, types

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

26 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

10 shares on X this month:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

The future is buffering.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Seen just now on Slack:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Going viral on Pinterest:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Seen just now on Discord:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨