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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.
  • Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.
  • My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.
  • Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.
  • Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.
  • I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.