Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew that the downfall of Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't fire and brimstone, but pesky urban planning issues? 🚶‍♂️🏙️ Maybe they should've invested in some nice sidewalks instead of, you know, debauchery and sin! 😆"

architecture, city, ever, Gomorrah, history, humor, irony, nobody, planning, Sodom, urban, urban planning, walkable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

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2 months ago

activity, beach, costume, destroy, dressed, food, french, french fry, fry, fun, fun activity, Halloween, humor, i, let, me, seagull, wildlife
You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

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2 months ago

awkwardness, cool, fitness, humor, perception, running, self-image, think, video, yourself
Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

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2 months ago

ahead, beans, brewing, cafe, caffeine, calling, coffee, daystarter, humor, joke, morning, routine
Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

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2 months ago

culture, daily, Dre, forget, humor, joke, music, pop, pop culture, rap, reminder
Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

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2 months ago

escape, fly, flying, frustration, grow, humor, irony, obsession, peeve, pet, pet peeve, pretending, room
Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

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2 months ago

face, frustration, glasses, hands, hold, humor, i, just, need, put, reaction, relatable, take, take off

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Trending via Messenger:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Trending via Threads:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Making waves on Messenger:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Trending via Messenger:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Just landed via Facebook:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨