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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

I hate when people ask me, โ€œWhat did you do today?โ€ Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I donโ€™t know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize Iโ€™m not an actor.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2156 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,318

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,318

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Threads:

Iโ€™ve been blocked by better.

Just shared via Slack:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Trending via Twitch:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. Thereโ€™s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Just landed via Threads:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Trending via Twitch:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Going viral on TikTok:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Just shared via WeChat:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”
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Commentary:
I'm fully informed to admit my lack of information! ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“š

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2156 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,318

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,318

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

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Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

โ€œHow would you describe yourself.โ€ Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldnโ€™t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if Iโ€™m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Gay? We donโ€™t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Trending via Telegram:

People be like “bear with me” and they donโ€™t even have a bear with them.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Spotted on Threads:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Going viral on Slack:

Iโ€™m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you havenโ€™t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You donโ€™t know what youโ€™re missing.

Just landed via WeChat:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Just shared via Threads:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Just landed via X:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I canโ€™t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

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