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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Spotted on Reddit:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Spotted on TikTok:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Clever quote about admitting ignorance with humorous, playful wording.

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Commentary:
I'm fully informed to admit my lack of information! 🤔😂📚

awareness, communication, enough, honesty, humility, informed, matter, mindset, norm, normalize, opinion, saying, social, social norm, truth

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55 shares on Snapchat this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Been getting really into nothing.

Just shared via WeChat:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Just landed via Threads:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Making waves on X:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Seen just now on Telegram:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

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Activity Log ✨

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨