Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.