Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Making waves on Twitch:

I think my type is a nice person.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂

brag, casual, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, put, self-deprecating, sitting, sitting down, socks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

0

3 months ago

bro, conversation, finance, finance bro, humor, money, print, print money, ragebait, start, why
“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

0

3 months ago

advice, always, before, die, drug, drugs, humor, life, life advice, never, physics, quantum, quantum physics, sex, try, try it all
As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

0

2 months ago

arguing, cake, distraction, everyone, humor, leave, leaving, me, party, politics, saw
Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

0

2 months ago

advent, calendar, Christmas, closing, countdown, daily, daily routine, day, every, humor, productivity, reverse, reverse advent calendar, routine, tab, work, work tab
Love is in the air fryer.

0

2 months ago

air, air fryer, cooking, food, fryer, humor, kitchen, love, relationship, romance
There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

0

4 weeks ago

concern, engagement, grave, humor, irony, likes, media, post, produce, social, social media, zero

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

19 shares on Slack this month:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Easy there, unsaved number.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Making waves on Reddit:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Breaking via Telegram:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Live now on WeChat:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Love is in the air fryer.

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨