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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Just shared via Discord:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Just shared via Discord:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

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November is for turtlenecks and depression.
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Commentary:
Ah, November, the official start of turtleneck season and feeling personally victimized by daylight savings time. 🐢☁️ Who needs Vitamin D when you have an endless collection of cozy neck sweaters to hide in? Just remember, seasonal affective disorder is real, but so is the power of a good knit turtleneck! 💪 #TurtleneckTherapy

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

16 shares on X this month:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

Shared recently on Slack:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

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