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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Going bananas on X:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Going bananas on Threads:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

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Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, fall, if you're trying to attract attention with that leg, it's working! 🍂😉😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

42 shares on X this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being strange is exhausting.

Making waves on Instagram:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Live now on X:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Spreading quickly via X:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Breaking via WeChat:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

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