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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Breaking via Instagram:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Seen just now on Instagram:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Spotted on Twitch:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Making waves on TikTok:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Going bananas on X:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

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One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.
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Commentary:
Ah, the circle of life: from wild nights to window gazing in a blink! 😂🪟🦉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Seen just now on X:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Just landed via Slack:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spotted on Threads:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Making waves on Discord:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Going viral on Telegram:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

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