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Commentary:
"Ah, the magical art of utilizing your parental powers for ice cream acquisition 🍦😄 Dad level: expert! Who needs to sneak sweets when you've got mini accomplices ready to 'help' with the cravings? 😂 #DadLife #IceCreamGate"

children, desire, father, ice cream, kids

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42 shares on Discord this month:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

58 shares on Reddit this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

90 shares on Threads this month:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

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Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

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Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

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I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

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Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

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(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

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Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

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I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

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No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

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Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

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They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

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Just shared via Pinterest:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Shared recently on Threads:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

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