Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Seen just now on X:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Live now on Threads:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Going viral on X:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Trending via WhatsApp:

All I think about is death and sex.

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about online shopping fueling hope for a few more days.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
“Who knew that waiting for a package to arrive could become the highlight of the week? Forget living for the weekend, now it’s all about living for those precious 3-5 business days of anticipation and tracking updates!”

Fun Fact or Trivia:
The first online purchase ever made was a Sting album, “Ten Summoner’s Tales,” in 1994. The transaction took place on August 11, 1994, and the album was purchased by a 21-year-old man named Dan Kohn. This marked the beginning of the era of online shopping as we know it today!

anticipation, business, business day, day, delivery, humor, live, me, online, online shopping, procrastination, reason, reason to live, retail, retail therapy, shopping, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

43 shares on X this month:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Just landed via Discord:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Seen just now on Twitch:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Trending via Snapchat:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

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