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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Live now on Snapchat:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Making waves on YouTube:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Seen just now on Telegram:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Breaking via Threads:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Shared recently on Discord:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

0
Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.
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Commentary:
Looks like I've been chatting with royalty—hello, Your Excellency, Bot from Lagos! 🤖👑😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Threads this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

76 shares on Messenger this month:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

82 shares on Facebook this month:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Live now on Messenger:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Spotted on YouTube:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Trending via Instagram:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Making waves on X:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

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