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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Shared recently on Discord:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Just shared via Reddit:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Just shared via Threads:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Making waves on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Just landed via Telegram:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Can't wait to live in blissful ignorance forever! 😄🌈💕

color, colors, dating, here, honesty, honeymoon, honeymoon phase, humor, me, only, phase, relationship, sarcasm, show, true, true color

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

3 months ago
48, 6, am, day, early, early riser, exaggeration, hours, humor, morning, riser, time, wake, wake up
The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

1 month ago
back, change, climate, climate change, cool, difference, generational, generational difference, global, global warming, humor, nostalgia, nowhere, people, real, reason, warming, young, young people
Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

1 month ago
annoyance, app, app update, change, changes, digital, digital annoyance, everyday, everyday life, format, format change, frustration, getting, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, mad, me, new, rearranged, store, technology, update, updates, user, user frustration
I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

1 month ago
dyslexic, humor, i, pun, put, sexy, wordplay
That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

1 month ago
again, awkward, awkward moment, experience, fashion, fitting, fitting room, get it off, humor, know, moment, relatable, room, shop, shopping, shopping experience, something, try, try-on
Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

1 month ago
adult, adult life, anxiety, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, hiding, i, know, life, me, much, nothing, observation, people, prepared, social, social anxiety, spent, store

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Making waves on Messenger:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Going bananas on Discord:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Live now on Reddit:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Making waves on Messenger:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

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Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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