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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Shared recently on TikTok:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Spotted on WeChat:

What are cats even trying to do?

Live now on YouTube:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Breaking via Facebook:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Trending via Twitch:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a subscription service where Granny's secret pie recipe is the real guilty pleasure! 🥧🧶👵

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

0

2 months ago

coffee, feel, feeling, got, humor, humor quote, i, me, morning, motivation, routine, self-awareness, shit, together
I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

0

2 months ago

cat, fatter, humor, i, people, sentiment, wish
I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

0

3 months ago

abbreviation, am, autocorrect, communication, excited, excitement, hate, humor, i, iPhone, man, smartphone, technology, texting
I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, moon, phone, photograph, respect, unwillingness
Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

0

2 months ago

contempt, court, held, holding, honor, humor, i, judge, lawyer, mean, relationship, wanted, wit
Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

0

2 months ago

activity, behavior, big, big day, cat, Christmas, Christmas tree, day, decoration, fun, fun activity, holiday, pet, pet behavior, today, tree

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

54 shares on Slack this month:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve disappointed better people.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

92 shares on Slack this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Making waves on Messenger:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Breaking via X:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Just shared via Slack:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Going viral on X:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨