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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Trending via Telegram:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Just shared via Threads:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Making waves on Telegram:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Going viral on Discord:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Just landed via Messenger:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Seen just now on Twitch:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a subscription service where Granny's secret pie recipe is the real guilty pleasure! 🥧🧶👵

can food, elderly, elderly woman, food, humor, knit, OnlyFans, OnlyGrans, parody, quilt, recipe, sew, teaching, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

0

2 months ago

adult, am, cartoons, childhood, discussion, full, hole, humor, i, listen, me, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, plot, plot hole
I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

0

2 months ago

apologize, humor, i, issues, me, negativity, new, new year, past, relationships, resolution, start, year
Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, around, dislike, dislike socializing, every, hate, having, homebody, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, people, personal, personal space, relatable, remember, social, social anxiety, socializing, solitude, space, time, why
“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

0

2 months ago

craving, donut, donuts, food, humor, mind, sight, temptation, work
All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

0

1 week ago

1986, Christmas, holiday, holiday wish, i, mall, nostalgia, retro, shopping, want, wish
Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, begging, communication, hands, humor, knees, man, me, relationship, talk, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My favorite color is money.

Trending via YouTube:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Trending via Telegram:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Live now on YouTube:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Shared recently on X:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨