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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Just landed via YouTube:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Breaking via Threads:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Spotted on Discord:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

0
Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.
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Commentary:
Seems like your brain decided to throw a wild party without permission! 🧠🎉 Maybe it's time for a mental hangover cure – a nap and some ice cream! 🍦💭 Just remember, thinking is like a workout for your brain- don't skip leg day…I mean, mind day! 💪😜

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

50 shades of single.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

64 shares on Threads this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a day off from myself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Going viral on Telegram:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Making waves on YouTube:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Live now on Twitch:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Going viral on YouTube:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

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