Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Just landed via X:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Trending via Instagram:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Trending via Discord:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Breaking via Threads:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Shared recently on Discord:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Just shared via Threads:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This bakery name has me rolling in dough-ughter! 🥐😂🍞

bakery, calling, crepe, dough, food, food joke, humor, joke, opening, pun, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

0

5 months ago

adult, adults, child, freak, got, humor, i, kind, kindness, little, old, old soul, sad, sadness, saying, self-deprecation, soul, think
After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

0

2 months ago

clarity, conclusion, deliberation, humor, introspection, overthinker, self-reflection, thinking
Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

0

2 months ago

accent, English, English accent, ghost, ghost story, humor, scary, sound, story
Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, brag, driving, found, humor, i, looking, multitasking, music, navigation, place, today, turning
I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

0

2 months ago

always, communication, humor, i, keep, say, self-deprecation, something, stupid, talking, worse
People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, boredom, cynicism, heart, humor, humor quote, i, know, least, people, sarcasm, say, stuff, think, true, war, well, work, WWIII

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

11 shares on X this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Making waves on Slack:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Just shared via Facebook:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Just landed via X:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Spotted on YouTube:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Just landed via Facebook:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Just landed via TikTok:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨