Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Live now on X:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Just shared via X:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Seen just now on Slack:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Spotted on Messenger:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Live now on Twitch:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Freshly posted on X:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This bakery name has me rolling in dough-ughter! 🥐😂🍞

bakery, calling, crepe, dough, food, food joke, humor, joke, opening, pun, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

0

2 months ago

asked, doing, favorite, hobby, humor, i, laziness, leisure, me, nothing, relaxation, self-reflection, someone
This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

0

2 months ago

boil, emotion, frustration, glow, humor, inside, me, rage
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

0

5 months ago

arm, arm fat, body, body positivity, confidence, fat, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, playing, positivity, self-love
The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

0

2 months ago

beaver, Eager, humor, productive, productivity, pun, specy, wordplay
I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

0

2 months ago

chance, conflict, humor, irony, luck, mind, violence
My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

0

2 months ago

adventure, aspiration, bag, big, career, goal, humor, main, moment, money, treasure, woods

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

84 shares on X this month:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

90 shares on X this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Just shared via Reddit:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨