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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Making waves on Instagram:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Going viral on TikTok:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Making waves on X:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Seen just now on Telegram:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about childhood photos and genuine smiles, humorous and lighthearted.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the golden era of questionable hairstyles but genuine grins! 😂📸 #TBT #RealDealSmiles"

authenticity, childhood, definitely, fake, humor, nostalgia, photos, smile, smiles, ugly

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53 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Spotted on Discord:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Live now on Threads:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Breaking via X:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

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Activity Log ✨

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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