Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Just landed via Discord:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Making waves on Telegram:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Live now on Twitch:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Making waves on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about childhood photos and genuine smiles, humorous and lighthearted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the golden era of questionable hairstyles but genuine grins! 😂📸 #TBT #RealDealSmiles"

authenticity, childhood, definitely, fake, humor, nostalgia, photos, smile, smiles, ugly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

55 shares on X this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Just shared via X:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Going viral on YouTube:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Going bananas on Reddit:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨