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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.
  • Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.
  • The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.
  • My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.
  • There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.
  • I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.