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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Just landed via Reddit:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Trending via Slack:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Spotted on X:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Trending via Facebook:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

3 weeks ago

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you're about to embark on a journey through the land of unexpected flavor combinations! 🌿💊🥜 What a happy accident – who knew that a mix of meds could make for a tasty trail mix adventure! Just remember, this snack pack is for taste buds only, not FDA-approved prescriptions 😄🥳 #TrailMixMishap

accidentally, best, bottle, humor, invention, meds, mix, packing, trail, trail mix, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,985

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Making waves on Threads:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Live now on TikTok:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Trending via Instagram:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Spotted on TikTok:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Breaking via YouTube:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

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