“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.” Posted onMay 28, 2026
Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?” Posted onMay 28, 2026
Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar. Posted onMay 28, 2026
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming. Posted onMay 28, 2026
The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron. Posted onMay 28, 2026
If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon. Posted onMay 28, 2026
After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her. Posted onMay 28, 2026
When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that? Posted onMay 28, 2026
I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room? Posted onMay 28, 2026
It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Posted onMay 28, 2026