My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life. Posted onMay 28, 2026
There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately. Posted onMay 28, 2026
We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them. Posted onMay 28, 2026
That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries. Posted onMay 28, 2026
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it. Posted onMay 28, 2026
A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee? Posted onMay 28, 2026